Footy, footy, footy, or to quote Les Murray the doyen of the round ball game in this country – Phoody, Phoody, Phoody!! It picks you up, it lets you down, and for 3 weeks I have been let down. I have plumbed the depths and have sought ways to experience the highs and then this week against the Purple People Eaters in that den of iniquity that masquerades as a suburb, but is merely filled with those who mooch about in clothing best described as alternative all the while sipping on overpriced lattes and snorting lines of washing powder up their noses to provide some street credibility, and despite the weirdly entertaining display by the VAFA umpires I have not experienced the elation that you get from Phoody, rather this week I felt relief.

That said the result in many ways was probably never in doubt, despite the lapse in concentration in the 3rd when the home team were vociferous, at their niggly best and much more committed in the clinches it was good to see some signs emerging of some coherent movement of the ball.

Given the start to the season I was reliably informed that at the same time last year there were 20 players different in the seniors and reserves, some had made the change from the playing strip to the civvies, some had travelled and some were contemplating life in other colours, and maybe this impacts upon the results thus far, but it does not provide any solace to the balding pate of the cockroach who lives and dies by results.

In addition, our performance was and is hindered by the enormous disparity that exists between what we train on and the ground the Collegians folk offered us – they had grass and we have never seen it, given that Dairy Bell is a wasteland and grass is something that would be described in the media as an illegal recreational substance. As such it takes us quite a time to adapt to the strange sensation of actually having some relief under foot and players sometimes feel they are undertaking a lunar walk as they enjoyed the strangely titillating experience if bouncing across the ground and experiencing the spongy give in the ground. Other problems were that for the younger players they discovered that there is a phenomenon called rain and it rained the previous night and the ground was soft and sticky in the middle and the Goat was finding it hard to extract himself from the gooey stuff for great periods of time.

I suppose it was not really a performance of high quality or flashy skills or free flowing ball movement except on the odd occasion, rather it would be summarised by the journo’s in print media as being a “Workman like performance,” where we had the Big Bad Boofhead in the goal square (stalking the forward 45 a la Fraser Gehrig) along with having a run in the middle to relieve the Goat, Joffa having a run in the team as penance for losing his money on the gee-gee’s last week, who both provided some much needed structure to a slowly evolving team, but they were well complemented by the recently graduated Tom “Lawman” Molan who was presenting well at CHF, but was also dispensing out some of Molan brand of justice when confronted by the  opposition self styled hard man along with reacquainting himself with the odd shaped aggot and its cruel bounces. Further the recently married Yappa, Tom Moloney (whose girlfriend explained to me that she was his Number 1 supporter after he had paid for her membership) Roaster and Louis Bowden along with Sam the Plumber Pickett (who told me his hero was Bob the Builder) were providing some much needed drive in and around the contest and were working pretty hard to win the pill and thus allow the other members of the team Chopper, William Dwyer, Al Roberts and Matt Fieldsend to provide us with scoring opportunities.

There were some highlights, and despite the win the lowlight was perhaps the falling asleep in the 3rd after we had set the game up in the first half, and perhaps could/should have put the game well out of reach of the home team, but the last saw some more purpose amongst De La and the disparity between the 2 teams was reasserted.

Individual highlights included:

• the continued excellent form of the evergreen Lachie Walker who has reinvented himself as a back man after reminding all and sundry that he has probably kicked more goals in ressies history than any other player, which could be an unwanted stat with any other player,
• the audacious outside of the boot banana goal in the last by the afore mentioned Lachie when it was possibly easier to just straighten up, still never let the opportunity to entertain get in the way
• the return of the Youngman to the backline where his run and dash was noted along with his propensity to kick finger breakers,
• Lou Bowden getting involved in the mud and enjoying playing with his mates, which was not something they thought was very important, but hey… let’s give Lou some leeway he doesn’t get out much
• Al Roberts with his cameo in the last where he bobbed up and kicked a couple to put the game beyond doubt,
• Sam Pickett, Roaster and the Bonnici man getting plenty of the ball and enjoying being part of the action and contributing to a win,

and finally and perhaps most importantly….

• Singing the song and not too many people asking for the words – after all it’s been a while.

Next week it’s Old Ivanhoe and we are at the Sandpit, otherwise known as Dairy Bell and its the annual Ladies lunch, so let’s put in a performance where our efforts provide the platform for the Seniors to open their account and start the campaign in earnest.