On Saturday we went to the beach or perhaps more precisely to practice the place we were at on the weekend you stretch the mouth wide, clench your teeth together and drawl Braaaaay-t’n, the land of botox, bleached teeth and bleached hair, the suburb where people drive Volvo’s (pronounced Vo-Vo’s like some biscuit from my long forgotten youth) where they dine al fresco and watch the poor people bake themselves on the beach that is slowly sinking into the earth due to global warming. Aaaah, Braaayt’n perfect one day, blonde the next. Old Brighton this week, someone Old next week, that’s footy in the Ammo’s and such is our life – to be surrounded by Old’s, and I am slowly becoming an Old myself – an old fart just rambling on, and waiting for the day when I am perambulated around the ground by grandchildren and then left outside in the rain as they have decided enough of listening to my tales tall and true of my imagined sporting prowess. 

Enough, it is a footy report and we played the runners up of 2008, and they have again started like they mean to finish the job – with fierce determination and a point to prove. Conversely, however we had started somewhat less than predictably given seasons 2006 and 07 and maybe that was due to the high number of newish players and a relatively younger playing list. Still, that is all conjecture, for it was a game of footy and with the railway line forming the boundary line on one side (when the ball goes out of bounds the train driver hurls it back into play) and the ground itself quite tight and possibly better suited to junior footy it promised to be a game where stout hearts and brave men would be rewarded. We would need to be switched on and ready to go, for this is no place for the faint hearted, no place for passengers, unless they were on the train, and no place to escape the wind. The venue is rather like the picturesque Dairy Bell, in that they have a strong home ground advantage and since their elevation into the premier division of the Ammo’s they have used it to the maximum advantage. We would need to be at our best to overcome it and prevail against them.

The day was dreadful and although many scoffed at the cockroach as he was piling the layers on to ward off the wind, rain and the onset of arthritis his was a sensible approach to life and it may indeed have staved off a trip to the emergency ward to have electrodes attached to the sensitive parts of his anatomy so as to regenerate any signs of life. However, it was good to see old fashioned conditions at the footy, with surface water, the ball skidding through and players needing to commit the head over the line of the ball and work through the contest and be strong when confronted with an equally committed opponent who was willing to be part of what was a pretty strong and at times willing contest.

The last time we played Old Brighton we were playing in the penultimate day of season 2007 and lost in quite cruel circumstances, however with an influx of newer players and with conditions vastly different it was not a case of revenge rather it was a case of looking to develop new goals for 2008, and forgetting the past. That said, the cockroach has been slowly chewing his innards away at the loss for the last 8 months.

The game was perhaps won and lost in ways that were not easily identifiable, it may have been youth versus experience, it may have been a surfeit of players built lower to the ground, or it may have been the intangible – a group of players who just enjoy those types of conditions.

This week we welcomed back – Ben Mannix, looking for a change from changing nappies (although after the game the white shorts looked like the contents of said nappies) along with Louis Bowden, Tom Donegan (finally aware that footy is the primary focus of footy clubs not playing mix master), Mark Matthews and Luke Jarvis, and all players had an impact upon the game and assisted to contributing to what was ultimately a very good team performance.

We started perhaps a little slowly, and it may be something we need to work on, as the home team took the ball away from the 1st contest and we were forced to rebound hard despite the fact we were enjoying a significant wind advantage. However, from that we were able to settle and started to impose ourselves in and around the contest with Towball, Bowden, Ding, Chewbacca and Sam “Frankie” Pickett all having what has been referred to as a red hot go at the aggot.

With the Big bad Boof head at Centre Half forward, presenting and pushing up into the contest and getting his dooks onto the ball the smaller running players of Bulldog, Chopper, one of each Robbie Bonnic, and Greg Hesse were working hard to get to the scraps that spilled from the contest we were starting to reap the rewards of the hard working on-ballers.

With the ball skidding through and keeping a little lower it suited the ferret brigade we had in the team and in Robbie Bonnici he was quite possibly the perfect player for the conditions as he was able to use all of his 126 centimetres to get his body behind the skidding ball and kick a couple of goals that settled the initial nerves, but also set the home side back on a day when it was always going to be difficult.

The Bus and Donners, worked hard against their opponents and were breaking even in the rucking contests, but it was perhaps their willingness to get down and dirty on the turf of the Beach Oval that was allowing us to press the ball further forward than the home team. Coupled with some tight defence led by the Youngman and his extraordinary kicking which frightened the train drivers a couple of times after he had launched a couple well over the cricket nets we were probably well worth our lead.

The opposition it should be acknowledged always kept their spirits up and were running pretty hard which forced us to be honest in our endeavours on a day when the conditions got steadily worse and the rain only got more depressing in its relentlessness. Given we kept building the lead by the ¾ time break it was always going to be a big ask for the home side to come back in the last even though they had a pretty substantial breeze behind them.

Highlights included:

• Ben Mannix returning and putting in a couple of cameo’s to remind all and sundry that there is only 1 Ben,
• the continued attack on the aggot by the Towball, Louie and Frankie,
• the instructive and positive voice of all players, in what were pretty trying conditions and the value that has as it assisted all players to make some effective decisions,
• the strong presence of the Boof head at CHF, this is what is required and he needs to repeat this each and every week,
• putting in a performance that honoured the memory of one of the foundation members and early benefactors of the Club John “Jack” Sullivan who died earlier in the week.

Next week we are back at Dairy Bell and we have the Old Scotch boys who are always up for contest, and if they bring some Old Scotch with them and if the weather is as bad as it was on Saturday I’ll be very grateful and quite possibly smashed by about ¾ time of the ressies.