This week we found ourselves out at the sometimes dark, always mysterious and given the dark lighting around the facility the scary Chelmsworth Park to face off against the high flying Old Ivanhoe in a game where the Ressies really needed to re-establish that winning feeling if we were to harbour any post-season credentials, particularly given we had recently been struggling to match the top teams. This week and this round was a pivotal week for A Reserve footy – after all they were on the ascent and 4th, we were 6th and 3rd and 5th were playing each other, so it was all to play for. Wow!! Gimme a headache and kick me hard – this was worth getting up for, and this is what footy is all about.

Chelmsworth Park is a funny place – the golf course alongside offers the serene sounds of golfers cursing as they miscue drives after flailing arms and other associated limbs have contorted themselves in an attempt to thwack little white orbs along a pre-designated path. The playing surface is right up there for good footy, but it can sometimes be overshadowed by the cubby house change rooms, which are a little cramped and dare I say this – spartan. I realise that you always look after yourself in terms of facilities, but this year our hosts had really thrown a wobbly one at us in the psychological war games that accompany big games. In the cubby house they had removed the coat hooks off the log cabin walls, so it was every mother’s nightmare as the players hung their clothing “up” on the floor. Given the fiercely competitive nature of our hosts who knows what will happen next year – remove the floor boards, after all the ablutionary facilities are decidedly rugged, so much so they can now only either remove the long drop facility (as it has no seat, no paper and no door) or perhaps take away the flickering lights as a means of establishing that vital psychological edge.

That said I quite like making the journey to Old Ivanhoe as it offers a challenge to visiting players and the Hoers are fierce beast on their home turf and a win here is always to be savoured.

After my early morning glances out the back window of the Ponderosa all the while sipping indulgently on the 1st cuppa of the day, eating the toast smothered with marmalade reading the paper and filling in the crossword as I gazed lovingly with immeasurable pride at the bride who was whipping up a batch of Blueberry muffins for my eating delectation for when I would sit and watch the lads venture forth onto the field of battle against the emerging Old Ivanhoe, I knew I was ready for this game. I sensed something was in the offing, and that after weeks of stumbling, bumbling and incoherent passages of play this week would prove a week where the De La boys would do a Martin Luther in the reformation – make a stand or finally be stopped from their recent efforts of tempting, teasing and downright wasting time by losing to the home team. I rather sensed they were ready, but then I have other feelings too, and they are wrong, so it was off to Chelmsworth to see what lay in store.

This week after yet another break to allow the fortunate few of the Ammo Hierarchy waste even more of the hard earned on a state game whilst they were inside on some comfy couches where they would feast upon the carcass of some dead beast, e welcomed back some players, and that also helped to bring about my more upbeat spirits, so it was hi ho it’s to Ivanhoe we go and a peck on the cheek to the bride, tucking the blueberry muffins in the bag and throwing on the overcoat and scarf and leaping into the chariot for a game which held massive consequences.

There was a fairly stiff breeze pushing to the jungle end of the ground which required brave and hearty souls to go in and retrieve the pills which cleared the fence, and we had 1st use of the tempest, but the home team were proving that with smarter use of the pill, getting numbers behind the contest and hard running that you could penetrate the uprights at the clubhouse end of the ground. It was a decisive wind if used properly, but given that the home side had been able to hold us up it was initially thought we had wasted another opportunity in a game to establish a lead and secure some sort of psychological hold over the opposition ourselves. Good signs were aplenty though, for Pev was getting involved and looked to have too much speed for his opponent, Pitch was leading the line well, and it was good to see the Roaster just settling us down across half back, the marking by Mick Dundon was a feature, the speed of the Bulldog was a good sign too, and the return of Robbie Bonnici was providing some much needed talk in and around the contest.

We came together and the cockroach under the added pressure of the toe-cutters standing alongside the huddle nervously addressed the troops and sent them back to the fray. Let me say his address was just OK, not great, but it was not the blood sweat and tears style of inspiration with a crescendo of noise and the chests of the players rising with inner strength, in fact it was more like listening to a policy speech by our current PM, as he kept nervously squinting at the toe-cutters and waving his hands mysteriously at the magnets expecting them to rise and fall in different spots. The man is a marvel – he waves his hands each week and nothing happens to the magnets, but his persistence is quite amazing in expecting a different result.

The home team made a concerted effort to place their stamp upon the game, but were frittering away opportunities as they were being harassed, tackled and not offered too much room to move. We were getting the pill up the ground, but were finding it hard to penetrate the major uprights, meanwhile off-field the coffee was lukewarm, the muffins delightful and the wind was whipping up lifting the toupee just a little higher on the scone. The last part of the 2nd quarter was pretty evenly balanced as both sides moved the ball pretty well and were demonstrating that they were able to string together some good passages of play, but in many ways were being let down by either the final ball or the target men up forward who were being kept well in check by the defensive groups. That said it was pretty good footy, it looked to me like the De La boys were shading the last part f the quarter and were the more disappointed when the bell went as they were just starting to get a bit of a wriggle on.

We retreated to the cubby house and the cockroach suggested the game was there for the taking, if only there was belief in the processes, as we were getting enough of the pill, but were perhaps not delivering the final ball. I had another muffin, had a chat to the other members of the travelling cognoscenti and then re-took my place in the cold where I rather cunningly looked to snuggle up next to some young lovely, but she was awake to my scheme and moved, ggggrrrrrrr, foiled again!! I reflected on this as I went to the facilities and after a quick peek in the mirror considered that maybe it was the toupee that did it, I readjusted and ventured out again to the contest.

When I was a pup the 3rd was referred to as the premiership quarter where games are won and los, and it was certainly the decisive quarter of the game. We were able to jump out of the blocks and quickly kick goals all the while controlling the game as the toll and the mounting score made for some nervous moments and hesitant decision making in the home team who were now well and truly having to find some solutions pretty quickly. We were getting on top in the middle with Kelso, Booze getting some early taps going our way, Georgie, the Tint Professor, Ding, Chewbacca, the Hesse express all getting some clearances to where Tom the Moleman was providing space and leading up into the middle where the runners could work off him, Lamb-Chop was pushing up into the contest where his anticipation around the bouncing ball was important and then when “Daisy Dukes,” Jack and “Albus” started to push to the front of the contest we were getting back to what is expected, accepted and rewarded. When Mick Dundon pushed down from the defensive half and snagged one it was starting to look a lot better and the cockroach was getting safer for another week. Not safe, just safer!

The last saw the home team try very hard to bridge the gap, but it was always going to be hard, and it was probably a bridge too far for them and as they took more risks we took advantage of them and used the openings to kill the game off as Jez looped home a long goal, Daisy and Tom exchanged a couple of quick passes inside the forward area where Daisy kicked the ultimate goal and we held them at bay to retreat into the sheds and I listened to the anthem that stirs not just De La, but the famous Notre Dame in the US “Cheers Cheers” ring out loud and proud as it shook the foundations of the opposition facility.

Are we back on track? Who knows, as that performance needs to be followed up with another and then another. This week we are at Old Scotch who are always a fierce rival, and always look to play to their best each and every week, so it will mean that we will need to be on our game if we wish to continue to stake a place for post-season action.

So this week get to Old Scotch on Camberwell Rd and see the good guys in Blue and Gold take on the Red Coats in what will be another searching test for the young ressies of De La.